Tucker's Blog

Mark VII

2010-12-15T12:58:00.000-08:00

The Mark 7 combat armor, as proposed by Commander Lukas Wantamos, is a marvel of superior tech. It has a larger surface area for more weapons to be holstered on the right or left thigh, and has a huge ammo pack on the back, similar to the one on the back of Jorge S-052, who is deceased. The armor has a sprint increasing motors, that could break the bones of most humans when it is activated. The armor can run up to 72 mph.
As you can see by this dissection of the boot, three inches of armor protect the wearer from explosives as big as Lotus anti-tank mines. Also, the armor carries an "armor lock" ability that concentrates the shields into an indestructible field for ten seconds. Unlike older versions, this armor lock does not hinder the user at all. The user can take over three hundred shots from a Scorpion tank- all fired at once. Also, the user can expand his shield into a bubble, which he can move very slowly with. It heals soldiers in it, with tech we still do not understand, even though we built it. The armor can also hook up to one of the heavy mini-guns stationed on tripods, and it can become a fully mobile weapon with over a thousand rounds of ammo. This is the revolution of warfare. No weapon will ever be the same. Thank you for your time.
Signed,
Admiral Preston Cole

December is almost here!

2010-11-23T12:36:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all the halo faans,
Blarg blarg blarg blarg blarg, honk blarg blarg, blarg!
And to all the red and blue guys,
Especiaaaalyyyeee tuuuuckeer!
Master Chief Is
Kickin azz,
And hes go-iing to come for you next!
Hide your children, hide your elders,
Peeedoo bear is here to play!
(To the tune of "Falalalalafalalala!" song)

Personal Equipment

2010-11-09T12:46:00.000-08:00

Noble 1-Carter's helmet; COMMANDER [unknown]; unlocked at [unknown]
Noble 2-Kat's helmet; AIR ASSAULT v3; unlocked at Warrant Officer
Noble 3-Jun's Helmet; SCOUT v2; unlocked at Captain
Noble 4-Emile's Helmet; EVA-C v2; unlocked after purchasing all EVA helmet variants
Noble 5-Jorge's helmet; GRENADIER v2; unlocked at Warrant Officer

Kat's helmet

2010-11-09T12:35:00.001-08:00

If you have unlocked Kat's helmet, you see in the description that it's an improved version of the standard ODST helmet.

New Title Background

2010-11-04T12:35:00.001-07:00

More apropriate to the blog than Moustache fart...

MOUSTACHE FART

2010-11-04T07:05:00.001-07:00

Huh? Huh? :p

Tobuscus Halo: Reach Lyrics

2010-11-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

Blood Vi-O-Lence...
Space, zoom, fade,
This September
Dodge the spacepebbles, nicely done,
The Battle Begins,
Exit-A-Warthog,
Scene-from-Avatar
Side shot helicopters
Peek at the bad guys,
That girl has a robot arm,
Everybody-stares-atit, akward
Snipe at night time.
Go to battle.
Front shot suspense
Turn gun forward
Why wasn't gun already turned forward, NOW YOU'RE DEAD!
Jump, catch him pull him up!
City's burning,
Thanks to guys with pincer mouths,
You need a bigger guuuuun!
Hey, there, what's in your hand
DOG TAGS!
What's in his, blue light!
Airplane takeoff,
Going to space,
to help these guys,
Fighting these guys,
Got one, dodge the lightning plasma,
But keep shooting. The most anticipa...
Halo Reeeach!
Global warming is the least of their wooorries.

Tobuscus Assassins Creed Lyrics

2010-11-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

Stargate. UbiSoft. SPARKLE!
A white matrix picks a date then faaaaaaades.
And they say Rome wasn't built in a daaaaayyy-AH
BLOOM TRANSITION!
The birds get the hell out of there.
Because they know somethings going dooown.
Is he gonna die?
No, it's a medium shot.
Pan, zoom, and slow-mo means he's the target.
Mysterious hooded man watches (from a distance)
Take a second to look awesome,
Time to go.
Walk in slow motion, so you still look awesome.
That guard just saw you, now he's gonna shoot you.
Don't mind him, just keep looking awesome,
That shadow will take care of him,
WHITE!
Guard says, "Stop!", just kill him with your awesome,
The other one got hit by an arrow, so you're good.
PART THE RED SEA.
Hopefully these guys have good armor!
No they don't, mabye they do.
Theyeee dooon't!
Now act like you didn't do it. (They're not buying it!)
Target comes out of his shelter,
He's distracted by a feather,
He's like "SHOOT ME!"
He likes feathers.
He looks up when he remembers.
Ooh, I love birds!
Nod at the bird and PEOPLE DIE
Everywhere, PEOPLE DIE
Target doesn't die, he's fine.
Target sends horsemen to die.
KILL THE HORSE, THE RIDER FALLS DOWN!
KILL THE RIDER, THE RIDER FALLS DOWN!
(But targets still fine.)
Target nods and some other guards
That were hiding in pillars
COME OUT!
And take their formation
Target pulls out his sword
Target smells his sword,
NOT SURE WHY!
Mysterious hooded man jooooined by...
Ooother...
Hooded... People!
YOU"RE NEXT!
Ruuu-ning!
RUUUUNING!!
Slowmotion jump attack!

All video games- 1958 to now

2010-10-27T12:59:00.000-07:00

"Pong" "Spacewar" "Computer Space" "Odyssey" "Gunfight" "Football" "Space Invaders" "Asteroids" "Battlezone" "Pac-Man" "Defender" "Dragon Lair" "Tetris" "House of the Dead 2" "The Sims" "Halo" "Halo 2" "Mario Galaxy" "Halo 3" "Grand Theft Auto 4" "Halo Wars" "Halo 3: ODST" "Halo Reach"

Meeting 2

2010-10-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

(Fade from black. The Heavy noisily rustles his gear around. Indiana Jones awakes, and sits up. The Engineer and a man that has not been introduced both sleep.)
Jones: (yawns) What time is it?
Heavy: Dawn. I could hear ze blues awaking in ze disztance.
(Jones listens. He hears the sound of metal against metal. It chills him that he didn't hear this before. He visibly shivers.)
Jones: (now alert) What do you think they're planning?
(Heavy nods to the sniper rifle on the ground.)
Heavy: Hey, you are ze one dat has ze schope, no?
(Jones looks through the scope of the rifle to see the five members of blue team assembling turrets. Three are engineers, so nine mini-turrets are placed around their camp, giving them a full range of cover. The other two are Pyros, demolition experts armed with flamethrowers.)
Jones: So, they have nine turrets and two Pyros.
Heavy: (nodding, deep in thought) Da, da... Pyros could make dis op difficult...
(Engineer wakes up. He yawns loudly, and grabs his shotgun.)
Engineer: Pyros, huh? No problem. Just get 'Demo to take 'em out.
(The African-American man sits up, nodding.)
Demoman: Yeah. Send me in, and i'll take 'em out with my stickybombs.
(A man in a tuxedo and a black ski mask appears out of the darkness. He pulls a cigarette out of his mouth and flicks it on the floor.)
Man: So, I see you require some... (lights new cigarette and places it in his mouth) stealthy assistance?
Heavy: Good, Spy, you're here. (Demoman scoots over to let Spy sit.) We need you to take out three of those turrets, if you can.
(Spy nods, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and letting it roll between his fingers.)
Spy: I can do it. For a price, of course.
(Jones takes out his wallet, but a heavy hand rests on his shoulder.)
Heavy: (threatening with Sasha.) I'll pay you when you get the job done, Spy.
(Fade to black, with a dramatic trumpet tune.)

Meeting 1

2010-10-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

PART ONE
(Fade in from black. Shot of starry sky. Pans down to a small base. An Engineer and a Heavy from Team Fortress 2 are seen squatting by a map...)
Engineer: I don't know, we already have three turrets set up around the perimeter.
Heavy: Da, but the enemy had no idea zat vee have sandvich. (Gestures to a plate, where a single sandwitch, in the shape of a triangle, sits.)
Engineer: Okay, okay, we'll try your plan.
(Voice off stage right) "What plan?"
(Indiana Jones seems to appear out of the darkness.)
Engineer: Good, you're back. He (Gestures to Heavy) has a "brilliant" plan.
Heavy: Da. So, here is how it goes. Ve inviltrate ze enemy kampf. Then, ve use Spy, who is on a mission at ze moment, szlip in and put a sapper on ze enemy turret. (Gestures as if he's placing a sapper.) The sapper blow turret into sky, and I go in, Sasha blazing. (pats Sasha, his Minigun.)
Jones: So, where do I fit into this?
(Heavy pulls a Sniper Rifle out of his pack, along with an SMG and a pair of sunglasses.)
Heavy: You, Professor Jones, vill use dis veapon to give me long range backup. If any of those blue-team creeps get to you, shoot zem vith dis SMG, and send zem packzing.
(Indiana nods, placing the sunglasses on his head and slinging the Sniper Rifle on his back. He tosses his revolver onto the table.)
Jones: Take good care of her.
Engineer: (slipping gun into waist pocket) Can do, boss.
(Jones slips the SMG into his holster, and slumps against the wall, exhausted.)
Heavy: Good day, komrades.
(Fade to black...)

WEAPONS OF CHOICE

2010-10-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

A needler on my left hip,
A magnum on my right,
A shotgun on my back,
Not an enemy in sight.

I added pictures...

2010-10-14T12:48:00.001-07:00

I added an American flag pic and three fail pics.

D-Day, 1899

2010-10-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

The zombies turned towards them. Tom Cruise pops out of a trash can.
"Run everyone!" He manages to say between the garbage in his mouth (garbage being his acting).
Denmarck turned to run, then stopped. He grabbed the trashcan and flung it at the zombies.
"SACRIFICE!! SACRIFICE!!" Tom Cruise shouts as the zombies eat him.
Denmark admired his handiwork of ridding the world of it's worst actor, then ran off.

The South Georgia Island Revolution

2010-10-13T12:43:00.000-07:00

Captain Noah Denmark looked over the landscape. It was... ugly. He called to a soldier to his left. The soldier took a peek over the edge of the sandbags, then he hopped over.
Almost immediately, a horrible moan shook the ground. What once seemed like fallen soldiers happened to be zombies, some of the zombie army (clad in red), and some were his own soldiers (clad in blue). The soldier screamed, letting loose with his musket (which basically meant he fired once), and as he realoaded, a zombie went upon him.
It was his commander, who had been lost in the field that month. He screamed, as they ate him and tore him to shreds. Denmark ducked down, and the zombies moved on. He motioned to the five remaining troops in his army. They switched to their handmade semi-automatic handguns. Denmark switched to his revolver rifle.
"FIRE!!" he yelled, and his troops emptied their clips.
Two zombies went down.

Seventeen if by zombie, Two if by sea.

2010-10-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

The South Georgia Island Revolution of 1899 started with Korea telling the locals to get the heck out before they sent in their redcoat zombies. Of course, South Georgia Island didn't speak Korean, and they used the tape for a short part in a radio show where Tom Cruise had to speak Korean. Of course, the Koreans loved Tom Cruise, and when they heard their warning carelessly used in a movie, they sent the zombies in...
GET DOWN!!
TAKING COVER!!
DO!! A BARREL ROLL!! DO!! A BARREL ROLL!!
Double rainbow all the way... Man, these brownies are good...